


He Came Back

by acciojd



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Protective Simon Snow, Protective Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:26:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24202042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acciojd/pseuds/acciojd
Summary: Chapter 71 of Carry On: Simon wakes up and finds Baz in the woods, fighting for control. Not to mention the Insidious Humdrum.This fic is a quick little retelling of that that scene from Baz's perspective. I love the idea of him fighting for control and refusing to hurt Simon, now that Simon came back to him.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 10
Kudos: 64





	He Came Back

_**He Came Back.** _

**BAZ**

I found myself leaning on the mantle, staring at Snow’s sleeping form for far longer than I cared to admit.

He came back.

I was stunned. Relieved. Thrilled. Turned on. Not to mention he wants to be my boyfriend. His words were “I want to be your terrible boyfriend,” and now they were on repeat in my head. I couldn’t unhear that. Did I even tell him yes yet? Did I tell him how much I wanted him to be my boyfriend? Did I tell him that I would put him first, first before everything? It didn’t matter if he was terrible as long as he was mine.

His little speech was rambling and confusing and so very Simon Snow ( _and I don’t think I’m gay…. I like to look at you…. I missed you_.) But he came back, and he asked to be my terrible boyfriend, and now he is sleeping on the couch in my bedroom on Christmas Eve (or is it Christmas Day yet?). 

Crowley, I’m living a charmed life.

But I needed to hunt. So, I tore my eyes away from him and went to the woods behind Pitch Manor. For not the first time, I felt anger towards my father. He knew what I was. What I needed. Would it be so hard to keep animal blood in the house? I’m sure a butcher would sell it to him and keep it quiet for the right price. Or a memory charm. There were a million ways he could do it, and it would save me the embarrassment and shame of sneaking out of my own home like a monster.

It would let me get back to Snow, who was sleeping on my couch, quicker.

But no, can’t have unexplained blood in the House of Pitch. Who knows how the Mage would play that on one of his raids?

Stealing one last look at Simon, I left the room closing the door behind me.

It was a cold night. I wish I had remembered my scarf. I was so anxious to get this over with so I could go back to Simon.

It didn’t take long to find a deer and drain it. I had just vanished the body when I heard a voice behind me. It was familiar but strange at the same time.

I didn’t even have a moment to be stunned that something snuck up on me. I turned around and was stunned to see Simon in front of me.

But not my Simon, not the Simon I had left sleeping on the sofa in my room. This was Simon the day I first met him. Like someone had found a photograph of the moment I first saw him and brought it to life. The same ratty worn out clothing, too skinny, so unbearably young. He was even holding that stupid red ball Simon used to play with.

Did something happen to Simon since I stepped away? Was he dead? Is this a warning? A visiting? But no, that couldn’t be right. What could possibly have hurt him lying on my couch. He was fine.

I don’t know why I did it, one of the first things you learn as a mage is that if it seems off it probably is off. I should have stepped back and took my wand out, I should have been on guard. But I couldn’t resist inspecting him closer, so I leaned down towards child Simon.

“You’ll do” child Simon said, putting a hand on my face.

It felt as though he pushed a hole into me. My body was just a vessel, and everything else, everything that made me Baz Pitch was gone.

All that was left was pain and rage and hunger.

* * *

For awhile I let it consume me.

A spark of myself seemed to bubble in my mind and bring my consciousness to surface, but I was in absolute agony. My fangs popped out and I felt like I was both in excruciating pain and completely out of control. My body was being pulled towards something, like back when the crucible cast Simon and I together. There was a tug towards something, and I had no way of stopping it. I tried stopping my feet or reaching out for a tree, but the most I got was a stumble. The pull was unbearable.

Whatever it was pulling me towards I wanted it. I needed it. I was starving, uncontrollably, the fact that I had just drained a deer seemed irrelevant to this new primal urge.

I was in so much pain.

I felt as though I had lost myself to the monster inside me. The vampire took the wheel, and Baz the mage was thrown into the back recesses of my mind. I couldn’t control anything. I was just moving.

Then I smelled him. Simon. Or more precisely Simon’s magic. The vampire side of me was still raging and I felt completely feral, but I was able to push it back a little at the smell of Simon’s magic. His smell made me able to pull myself back to the foreground. 

“Simon?” I called out. Is that my voice? It sounded different, like the word was fighting to get out. Which I guess it was. I had to warn him before I lost control again. In case I attacked him. Plus, there was something in these woods, child Simon, and I think it was him. The humdrum. He was here for Simon, and trying to use me to attack Simon. Well nice try, humdrum, I am not going down without a fight.

“Baz! Are you okay?”

A tiny spark flared in me pushing the vampire’s base instincts back again. That was Simon, and he was worried about me. Simon came back. He was here, and he said he wanted to be my terrible boyfriend.

I could feel my control slipping. Simon had to get out of here. I had to warn him before the humdrum hurt him. Before _I_ hurt him.

The thought made my heart ache.

“No, no… Simon!” I wanted him to leave, but I couldn’t make the words. The smell of his magic was driving me from my own mind. I was so hungry.

Then he was in front of me. “BAZ!” he screamed and made his way toward me. I looked up. My Simon, in my pajamas, was moving toward me. He smelled like a meal. I was so hungry, and his magic was practically reaching towards me, begging me to take it, begging me to feed on it.

But I couldn’t, I couldn’t hurt him. Who knows what I would do to him? And I felt my control waxing and waning.

I tried to get away from him as best I could.

His blue eyes, filled with concern, looked hurt when I moved away. I tried to explain, but the words kept getting stuck. It was as if my mouth was filled with cotton balls and I was trying to force the words passed them.

“Something’s wrong. I’m hungry.” I tried, hoping he would get the point. Hoping he would get out of here and get somewhere safe.

“Baz, you’re always hungry.” He said, voice trying to make light of the situation. He thought this was a vampire thing. Which I mean, it was, but it also wasn’t.

“I saw you in the forest, just now. But you were young- you looked like you did the very first time I saw you…” I tried to explain. The words kept getting stuck, the urge to attack him kept getting strong.

I kept trying to explain what happen, but Simon kept coming toward me.

Then I felt a hand on my spine. It was him, child Simon, the humdrum. He tried to push me out of my own mind with more of his emptiness, more of the void that would kick my consciousness out of my own body.

I did everything I could to stop it, but I was charging at Simon. Crowley, I might try to kill him. The only thing I could maintain control of was a few words. I kept shouting at him to get away, that I was hungry, hungry for him.

But of course, the damn fool didn’t listen.

I blacked out for a second as the base instincts took over, and suddenly we were grappling on the ground. I wanted to hurt him, I wanted to feed from him.

And then Simon had his hands on me and was pouring his magic into me. I could feel myself regain control, I could feel the void leave as it was filled with smoke and sour cherry scones and _Simon_. I sobbed with relief and stopped fighting him

I could vaguely make out Simon and the child Simon talking, but then the magic simon poured into me started to overflow. Simon was glowing, and now I was glowing. He needed to stop before he hurt himself. Before he hurt me.

“Simon!” I shouted, relieved that my fangs were gone. “Enough!”

He was off me in a flash. I felt exhausted beyond belief. I also felt relieved. Simon was okay, he saved me. I didn’t hurt him. I was back in control. I was back in the driver’s seat. Vampire instincts banished to the back of my mind, or whatever.

But Baz Pitch instincts were back, and scared and worn out and just bloody terrified so as Simon lay next to me, I weakly pulled him towards me, practically begging for a cuddle. He lay his head on my chest and I felt a moment of relief.

We didn’t move for a few minutes. I contemplated just dozing off, here in the forest with Simon Snow on my chest. Seemed as good of a place as any.

But then my brain started working again and I realized what just happened.

“Simon, are you the Insidious Humdrum?”

“No” he answered sharply.

I think I went into shock. I was laughing and crying at the same time. I started shaking, uncontrollably, and I was so so so very cold. Simon was the humdrum. He might not have realized it yet, but he was. Somehow.

We have to figure this out, intellectually I know we do, but I couldn’t right now. I was so relieved I didn’t kill him, so relieved to be back in control. So relieved to have magic back. I just kept laughing and crying and then I kissed him because why not, all I ever wanted to do was kiss Simon Snow.

I might die kissing Simon Snow. But not tonight. And now that we were a team, we would figure it out together.

A/N: Thank you for checking this out. Let me know what you think! And please check out my other fics, especially 'Death Will Tremble to Take us' which is my baby right now :)


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